| dude.. so i'm finally getting myself back into shape and taking care of everything that needs to happen but it's resulting in a slight delay-age of everything that i'm doing... but its ok, because when i do it.. i need to do it right... go big or go home ya know? ... i've been in the bay for about 6-7months now.. in that time, i've written and recorded about 10-12 brand new trax, started my workout regiment again, lost 20lbs.. struggled, worked my ass off... had amazing times with friends... have had horrible times with life in general but its all good... and if nothing happens right away this year... i kinda look at this year up here to place all the pieces in the right place for next year... to have a new sound, a new look.. a new life and appreciation for things in general...
anyone who knows me, knows that i get stuck in myself sometimes... meaning... i am perpetually torn between passion and practicality. balancing the two is probably the most challenging thing i do and its really confusing... i make moves in parts of my life that i don't necessarily *desire* to make moves in.. yet it happens... and i also make moves in parts of my life that i DO desire to move... it's not as if i fail horribly at one thing and totally excel at the other... i kinda fail and succeed all at the same time.... and i've accepted the fact that that is just who i am and who i'll be for the time being and hopefully in the end... i can be proud of myself and have people be proud of me... So... hear are my semi-midyear resolutions... haha
1. Keep pushing myself to stay in shape and eat right! This is uber-important... my little bro told me that if you're not in shape by the time you're 25, odds are you won't ever be... so i'm about a year and a couple months from being that statistic and i'm definitely not going to settle into that...
2. Keep writing, singing and performing when I can... make more music with my brother(the stuff that means the most to me always comes from me and my brother).... maybe take the show to the philippines???? ... any thoughts on that?? hahah...
3. Start talking about myself more... hahah, ok this sounds weird, i know... but it's been brought to my attention by many many people that I don't stand up for myself enough and I don't create enough hype around my name.. I've always been a firm believer in letting my actions and talents speak for me but to succeed in this business, you've gotta be convinced that your instinct is keen and you've gotta be VOCAL about it... i've always been sensitive to the fact that people always assume that I am confident in myself and abilities so I try SOOO hard to make sure that people don't think i'm cocky or not humble and get the wrong impression of me... but at this point... SCREW IT... I know that I don't think i'm the shit... iiiIiii know that i am SO grateful to god for everything he has given me and the people around me know that too... so, business is business and i've really gotta take more initiative... for example... say i meet someone really important one day... i slip him/her a demo/press package.. typically, I would say something like... *here's my stuff, it's rough.. please don't pay too much attention to it, alot of work needs to be done, but i can totally do that....*... sounds a little weak to me.... but if I were to say something like... *this is me, i've worked really hard on this.. it's f*ckin hot, you need to hear this. i've done this, i've done that and now i'm ready to be taken to the next level... do u have a card?* ... THOSE are the people that break the mold.. no one ever just kinda stumbles through it, you've gotta FORCE your way through... now if only i could just DO IT... i'm POSITIVE, i'd get alot farther than where i am now... so anytime you are around me, please keep believing in me and encouraging me to believe in myself because honestly, i swear to god... sometimes, i really don't and i don't see what sets me apart... and sometimes i really do but then something discouraging gets in my way and i lose it... so.. thank you to EVERYONE whos been next to me through it all... keep doing what you do for me and i SWEAR, one day i will be rich enough to buy you ALL of the plastic surgery you ever WANTED!! hahaha... god bless |
